Poetry “You must serve as a captain of sorts

Today we’re living in a very troubled world.

One’s death open the entrance of others birth,

But could these uncountable series of death and birth make any of worth;

Negativity pervades it,

And many in our society are floating like ships without rudders,

Weary souls searching for a lighthouse that will keep them from crashing against the rocky shores.

Peoples are entangled within their own waves, lost even at sea-coast…

So here you must serve as a captain of sorts,

And will be a beacon of light, one in millions

A flying kite in a space at the so high,

You’ll have to be a bona-fide!



A short piece of my life- love, live, poetry

Many of people say to me why I don’t believe in love,

And if I don’t believe in love so why I write poetries on that,

And how can I write so deep poetry on love, broken up and complete heart things without being in love?

Once someone read my poetry here on my blog and texted me what’s your story I am so curious to know, have you been in love so serious and hard breakup?

I said no not at all, I don’t believe in these things soft neither hard nothing.

I just write, what comes in my mind and what I’ve seen and observe through outside of the world.

He said ok!

After that I again write a poetry on what he had said to me, yes! I’ve been in love and break up but it’s not a truly damn gossip stuff. I saved those more than deep words for my poetries.

I’m a writer and more than that a poet and only poets can understand the sensitivity and softness of our heart and pain.

We don’t say any things out, we save them for words put on paper and use our tears as blood-ink to write,

Until we don’t have that ink or those realistic and hard words we can’t be true poet.

Once a screen-play writer and director said to me life of poets been very difficult since ever, his father was poet and he has seen so much pain, poverty, grief and difficulties in life.

And he was also a poet but now he’s a frustrating, and disappointed writer and artist,

I asked why?

Because he left his true and natural love of poetry for earning money and became a screen-play writer he sold his soul, heart, his love and pain that’s why he is disappointed from his life and his self.

I said but no I’m a poet and very optimistic, positive and a believer of god. I only try to see positive in every things and aspects.

May be I will have to face difficulties in my future due to my love, passion and something so I’ll.

You know why?

Because what I think is that I think very differently

“better to being happy, satisfy, hopeful, poet with less of money than being a rich, arrogant, frustrated, and lost person or writer, or anything with lot of shit money.

Means really how can anyone make their ambition or dream or whatever to earn more and more money the most insane person.

Money can never give you a shit piece of happiness neither love, satisfaction. That can’t give you the most important damn things to live by or you’re giving just the yours whole most precious and valuable life to that bull shit.

For me being a poet is the bliss that none can think or invent like a technology or machine by his conscious mind that’s only ten percent of your all mind instead it’s divinity that flows out of your ninety percent of sub-conscious mind.

Being a poet and writer is a outcome of so much feeling of pain, insanity, feeling of lost, weird and so much to explain in words that I’ve been living in last almost twenty years.

Yes from childhood I was so different than my sibling, then all. I was so shy, silent introvert who only wants to live at home, who doesn’t want to talk neither with her family members. Who doesn’t want to go school or hang up with so many as others did.

I was always thinking before going school in morning after waking-up, I think the all damn shit concept of school, study and this hell world.

I didn’t understand anything what I’m studying and why or I never asked my foolish questions to anyone because those are important for me but foolish for others. Because of my silent attitude often people understand me as a studious girl or very intelligent, sensible mature blah-blah.

Even when I was so dumb, so slow so insane, and being studious was a damn responsibility on a shoulder of little innocent girl. I thought that being studious is kind of fantasy or adventure so I pretend to be but get failed.

Yeah! I’ve been fail many of times and cried out so much because I didn’t know that who I’m what I want, I was always trying to be a topper in my class as other girls because of their fucking attitude and ego. I expect so high from myself so as my parents did from me, and after failing I get disappointed or cried.

I’d lot of baggage of disappointment, sadness, lost ness, pettiness, disgust, tears.

And so much more, love, breakup’s even when I didn’t know the holy shit meaning of love.

But yeah that was the phase, not now today I’m a strong, positive, mysterious, curious, funny, loving girl who wants to know about all universe.

Who wants to do everything.

Who believe in everything.

I’m a damn believer. I’m weird too but difference is now I’m happy with all who I’m and proud to accept myself.

These all due to the faith on god and his grace. I loved him so much and he loved me back, he taught me so much, he took care of all mine. I’ve fought with him many times, asked so many bull shits.

But he never get angry with me, never punished me instead always given me more strength and sense to figure out all the things.

The most damn terrible ting is we don’t dare to accept our true self so how we can accept others h?

We don’t understand ourself our desire, our hearts voice, so how we can understand others?

We don’t have any relationship with our soul, mind, heart so how we can even think for once to a complete relationship with other?

If you can’t live with you so how can any other one can live with you?

Why the hell we see dreams of happy marriages, long lived love or more and more shit for being happy?

If you really want happiness so be you, accept you and just love you.

What I’ve left behind, nothing

To dream that you are looking through the rearview mirror suggests that you are dwelling on the past too much. It may indicate regrets, past hurts or “what ifs”. On the other hand, the dream may be telling you not to forget about the past and what you have left behind.

Yes as I’m studying my dreams so today I dreamt something as watching myself in mirror that means I find this interpretation.

Find so true to me as I’m dwelling between so many things of my past.

Within last three-four days I’ve written my all incomplete and past though difficult stories or share someone to a writer or director.

While writing I’ve touch all those moments again that I’ve lived some day. All those memories keep as that safe in the back of my mind.

To remember all and a regret, hurt everything when you remember.

When I think to complete those dreams but much difficult actually impossible.

Regret to I never said things that I felt for them. There is only one life may be many but don’t know will meet them again, so regret.

But that’s ok!

Not okay is

The message- not to forget about past and what I’ve left behind.

Means that’s not at all a easy one

If I’ll not forget past could I live well. Even I couldn’t this now or when drowned in past so how will I make a shit?

Actually past is not all about these three one, there are so many things or people all over my sub -conscious mind.

But most of right all over my past is mine younger brother’s

Who left me 10 moths ago…

99 percent of my past actually no!

All past owned by him.

With whom you’ve lived your twenty-one years all days, night so many moments.

Happiness, fight everything.

He was my youngest brother two and half year that I always make remind him.

Even I couldn’t dare to enter this past not touch it because if I’ll just touch once,

I will have no control all over my mind and to any where.

The past take over me.

But while watching a brother, sister or fighting.

To watch playing badminton, anywhere I get into that…

We have played lot of badminton together in childhood. Even we had gone stadium to play at 3 or 4 am.

When someone came all of sudden so I get scared or remember he makes me scared knowingly or I get irritated, scold him.

When I give someone food yellow dal and rice by mixing so it comes to me this is the food that he had eaten so much and I’ve gave him…

Seeing his mark sheets and copies his writing for that I had scold him many times to improve writing.

I’d taught him so much, in his high-school, made him prepare for exams and he get slept.

When he used to breakfast, I used to memorise his syllabus to read loudly for the preparing his exams.

Even in so childhood when I was five, six year old make him sleep by singing a lullaby or jingle.

Once at that age we were only in room mom had locked us from outside and went to some neighbors home we were sleeping and a cow came inside to the door I got awake and scared I thought a elephant came but my brother he was also there he didn’t scared in fact he was consoling me or making me calm. Then he was only three and four year old.

As an elder sister of him I always felt as mother.

He always behaved as a care free and naughty child.

Giving his food, teaching him, playing with him, fighting with him, consoling, motivating him.

Everything…. this is a actual past of mine

And I don’t share his things, those memory with anyone I don’t want it’s all only mine will be always inside of my heart.

But I am angry with him how he can do this, if he would near to me so I’ll slapped him or scold him so much. I know it’s rude and ridiculous everyone will think why?

Or I’m insane

But I’m angry to him and will be always. Until he wouldn’t come to me or confess me all.

Dream Diary- decode the message

I’m a curious girl who obsessed with the “I want to know everything” as now studying or analysing my dreams.

Dreams have been always a mysterious subject for everyone so for me too…

Things seems as impossible or suspicious until you did not understand them.

Everything that are hated or loved firstly get understood.

There is a kind of joy and happiness to understanding all.”

I have to decode or unlock all the mysteries of this universe.

Now I’m studying and making a connection with my sub-conscious mind rather it can help me by telling me something that I couldn’t know through my conscious mind.

As I always been confused, chaotic, indecisive and dwelling between so many things.

“Lost on the each and every path, between the wondering voice of mind and heart.

I started to remember my dreams and write them in diary or finding their meaning or relate with them my present time situation of waking life.

And I get surprised it’s so effective what we could not find through any logic or knowledge, your sub conscious mind tells you so clearly and smoothly.

But dreams are a code language that we have to decode.

Our sub-conscious mind is the door between conscious or super-conscious mind.

Sub conscious mind works through getting all impulses, information or memory that are used or stored by our conscious mind and sometime a sense from super-conscious who all are on that stage, and tell us a message in dream that about to happen in future.

Means sub conscious mind also can predict things before happening in waking life or this world.

I have experienced this just within one two week.

Remembering dreams seems very difficult firstly or the important stage of study.

But not though difficult, just wake up in morning without getting hurry, lay for few time calmly or without getting involve in phone or any conversation try to remember dream.

Firstly you’ll get only one two random things but don’t irritate just caught them and store in back of mind and slowly slowly thing or go behind those things, while brushing, bathing and all think.

Sit silently few minutes without troubling with mind or any thought.

And you’ll get to start receiving your coded message of dream.

Then write it all on notebook while writing you’ll remember more. Write all small and specific things, your feeling, timing, color, surrounding and all.

Just continue this practice for daily.

This is a phase of knowledge and as much as knowledge you’ll have life will be easy to live.

These dreams will help you lot with dealing the difficult situation.

These dreams tell you that you couldn’t know in these years of your life. That you never realised. And those all things are stopping your progress or path.

Dreams will reveal your hidden fear, anxiety, insecurity, your purpose, truth of life. Everything.

Just be aware and jump into the sea of knowledge.

You’ll love your life.

Poetry is full of music

Prose is simple but poetry is complex, subtle and Sublime.

Prose is dull and boring, but poetry is interesting and full of charms.

When we say something as in prose it seems strict, and hard.

But when we say words in poetic form doesn’t matter how tough it is to hear, or stand by,

How deep & darkest is ‘truth

Even seems soft and good,

Words are putting to down,

As a melodious chaos dancing,

Birthing – stars ‘full of bright shining…

Brevity is the soul of Poetry.

Prose is dull but poetry is full of music.

It uses rhyme and rhythm.

Archaic and absolete words are not deemed good in prose but this is not so in poetry.

That is why I love poetry, poetry is free, it has no restrictions and boundary…

So as no poet can ever bind,

within grammar, rules and sanity.

Work of poetry and poet is to make you, experience of ultimate freedom and infinity…

Poetry is “best words in their best order.”

—- S.T. Coleridge

Poetry is “spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings.”

—William Wordsworth

Poetry is “a criticism of life under the laws of poetic truth and poetic beauty.”

—Matthew Arnold

— Nidhi Suryavanshi


Dear John “look around you,

“…when you’re struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it’s just as hard as what you’re going through.”

Savannah Lynn Curtis, Chapter 4, p. 71 Dear John.

“You’re not alone so don’t be a victim those are so many, instead stand up, be bold and try hard to lift up others,

be a fighter, a motivator, and a game-changer.
And do it now, this is the time to look around,

uncountable falling ones,

Bring them back,

Feet to neck

Raging heart to solace,

Take a stick or made it, if so weak

Then ask few help but rather roar,
on all your own…


A remarkable story of actor Abhijay singh- who dare to dream and make it real

To oppose the natural flow of life takes lots of courage,

That comes after aching your all body from inside-out.

This is what Abhijay Singh did, he dare to dream, when an average person even couldn’t think.

Abhijay singh is a 26 year old Indian actor. He saw a dream, when life had broken him completely, when most of people start dying slowly and no one can save them.

Abhijay rescued himself, and turned the flow according to him. He crossed the narrow line and began to write his destiny with the ink of faith and determination.

Abhijay said “Only dead fish go with the flow” and I wasn’t dead at that, but yeah I was on the way.

There were, and there are most of as me, I want to be free and set them too…

I want people learn to see dream, a new dream each day.

Early Life-

Abhijay born in a poor family of farmers based in the village of Shahjahanpur of UP India.

Where survival is the only aim of all family abhijay was also contributing. There wasn’t much scope for education but somehow his siblings (4 brothers and 3 sisters) and he managed to study.

He has completed his study from the public school and for pursuing Bachelor in art taken admission in a college of Lucknow but had to leave studies in the middle due to money.

Then he continually worked till the four years as a labour, as a watchmen and also in restaurants.

He said, “I was dying slowly- slowly from inside but there was a kind of voice

Always trying to be loud, that you’re not made for the road of normality;

But there wasn’t any way, only dark throughout all sides.

Abhijay said, time was going worst and worst day by day, sometimes I was hungry throughout three, four days in a week.

Stomachache and vomiting also happened many times due to hunger.

Even I’ve eaten soaked wheat with salt. I’ve been cheated many times; people have also made fun of me and my condition.

That was the darkest period of my life rather, just remembering all of that drown me in lots of pain.

But there was a thing that I never gave up, and after facing these all, I thought there nothing more worst can be happen than this so from here I’ve to go only ahead and get good.

And I decided to pursue my dream and I joined a theatre group in lakhnow.

I worked there for four years and then I dare much more and decided to go Bombay.

But didn’t have courage to told parents in that situation, when all were trying hard only to live and I was going to become actor.

They obviously consider me an insane.

But after sometime I told my mother and in 2010, she gave me little money after selling her gold earring and blessed me.

I moved Bombay “with the only luggage of my dreams and so many hopes.”

I get failed many times in auditions and face many rejections so I returned for learning acting and I was going third time in that city, which had thrown me out before two times.

But this time I had a kind of confidence in me, after seeing this much failure, I thought I cannot go more down than this.

Rejections stopped affecting me; it became just another thing after I went through emotions of shock, anger, frustration every time, in that order.

Till that i was completely fearless and void.

Now I don’t afraid from anything.

From there my real journey begins…

Firstly I got an opportunity to perform in the play based on the fight of 1857 in the theatre situated at china road. I have gotten 500 rupee for a show that also after so many rehearsals and waiting of months.

After that people started to notice me and from then I worked in many TV serials as “Diya or baati”, “Bade acche lagte h”, “Jhansi ki rani”, “Savdhan India”, and in short films and in movies “Mahendra Singh Dhoni”, “DNA” and “Ghandhi.”

And now his first film (dastoor) as main lead with the actress sonal chauhan and actor govinda with the director ‘chitresh mehra’ is about to start in lakhnow. There are more three-four films those will be schedule in next year.

He is defiantly going to be a next super-star and a exceptional actor in Indian cinema.

After knowing his remarkable story and writing on him here I want to dedicate few lines of my favorite movie’s ‘Shawshank redemption’ to him and his infinite courage.

“Some birds aren’t meant to be caged.

Their feathers are just too bright.”



 Written by @NidhiSuryavansi

Based on conversation with Abhijay singh.








Stephen Hawking- unlocked the secret of ‘Universe

Hawking was born on 8 January 1942 in Oxford.

Today he died at the aged, 76

He has lived such a long, deep and meaningful life while dwelling within knowledge and universe.

Even after a pathetic disease, with a paralysed body.

And when his Dr. Said to him, almost 50 years ago that he has only two years,

He fought a huge war, and unlock the secrete of universe ‘Black hole’, ‘Big bang’.

And also win it with full grace. Today I am sad to remember him and also bow to him a great, and one in centuries human-being.

He has done so much work but even there is much more that he would love to do, so he’ll definetly born again. RIP Stephen Hawking

His life story-

Hawking considered as highly intelligent and somewhat eccentric;

Hawking began his schooling at the Byron House School in Highgate, London. He later blamed its “progressive methods” for his failure to learn to read while at the school.

The eight-year-old Hawking attended St Albans High School for Girls for a few months.

A positive consequence was that Hawking remained with a close group of friends with whom he enjoyed board games, the manufacture of fireworks, model aeroplanes and boats, and long discussions about Christianity and extrasensory perception.

From 1958 on, with the help of the mathematics teacher they built a computer from clock parts, an old telephone switchboard and other recycled components.

Although known at school as “Einstein”, Hawking was not initially successful academically.

With time, he began to show considerable aptitude for scientific subjects and, inspired by Tahta, decided to read mathematics at university.

Hawking decided to study physics and chemistry. Despite his headmaster’s advice to wait until the next year, Hawking was awarded a scholarship.

Hawking began his university education at University College, Oxford at the age of 17.

For the first 18 months, he was bored and lonely – he found the academic work “ridiculously easy”.

“People who boast about their IQ are losers.”

—Stephen Hawking

A change occurred during his second and third year when, according to Berman, Hawking made more of an effort “to be one of the boys”.

He developed into a popular, lively and witty college member, interested in classical music and science fiction.

“Intelligence is the ability to adapt the change.”

—Stephen Hawking

Hawking estimated that he studied about a thousand hours during his three years at Oxford. These unimpressive study habits made sitting his finals a challenge.

Anxious, he slept poorly the night before the examinations, and the final result was on the borderline between first- and second-class honours, making a viva (oral examination) necessary.

Hawking was concerned that he was viewed as a lazy and difficult student.

So, when asked at the oral to describe his future plans, he said, “If you award me a First, I will go to Cambridge. If I receive a Second, I shall stay in Oxford, so I expect you will give me a First.” (Witty and clever)

“Live would be tragic, if it weren’t funny.”

—Stephen Hawking

He was held in higher regard than he believed; as the examiners “were intelligent enough to realise they were talking to someone far cleverer than most of themselves”.

“Quite people have the loudest mind.”

—Stephen Hawking

After receiving a first-classBA (Hons.) degree in natural science and completing a trip to Iran with a friend, he began his graduate work at Trinity Hall, Cambridge.

After being diagnosed with motor neurone disease, Hawking fell into a depression – though his doctors advised that he continue with his studies, he felt there was little point.

“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then had been a bonus.”

—Stephen Hawking

His disease progressed more slowly than doctors had predicted.

Although Hawking had difficulty walking unsupported, and his speech was almost unintelligible, an initial diagnosis that he had only two years to live proved unfounded.

When Hawking applied the same thinking to the entire universe; Black hole, Big-bang and, during 1965, he wrote his thesis on this topic.

Hawking’s thesis was approved in 1966.

There were other positive developments: in March 1966; and his essay titled “Singularities and the Geometry of Space-Time” shared top honours with one by Penrose to win that year’s prestigious Adams Prize.

He had won numerous awards, and his written one of book sold out the millions of copies. And on his complete life there made a movie The Theory of Everything, in 2014.

As he slowly lost the ability to write, he developed compensatory visual methods, including seeing equations in terms of geometry.

The physicist Werner Israel later compared the achievements to Mozart composing an entire symphony in his head.

Hawking was fiercely independent and unwilling to accept help or make concessions for his disabilities.

“While there’s life, there is hope.”

—Stephen Hawking

He preferred to be regarded as “a scientist first, popular science writer second, and, in all the ways that matter, a normal human being with the same desires, drives, dreams, and ambitions as the next person.

#StephenHawking #BlackHole #BigBang #Universe

Time does not exist

Time is not reality because it’s relativity.

— A theory given by Einstein

When you talk to a nice girl one hour Seems as a minute. And when you are burning your hand, a minute seems as an hour why?

Time is not a truth because truth never change, as sun is a universal truth it will be ever, sun-rise and sun-set are also just due to our ignorance and a theory invent by human for their comfort.

Time is a illusion it never exist, only it haunts our mind, time change their variability with different things, that is why there is a theory of “relativity” given with time.

And if there is no existence of a time so definetly there is no present, past and future.

They are just few sollow words but we feed them and then let them feed us. With the worry of past and fear of future.

Clearly time can not possess us, and neither we can possess time.

Time is only living in our mind we can control it by controlling our own perception towards it.

If there is a something pleasurable so we want to stay there as long as we can or stuck on that, and if something is unpleasent so we tried to skip it at the end as soon as poosible.

This is called time traveling not in a space instead in our own body.


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